One of the things I am dealing with post-election is the quiet. I find myself just sitting in my space at home, processing everything in stillness. I’m trying to take small steps toward making a difference in my little corner of the world. When I see posts with lists of “20 things you can do,” my mind quickly becomes overwhelmed. It’s like losing a loved one—something I experienced more than once this year—and then being handed a checklist of ways to move on. The grief I feel now is different, though. It’s the loss of the world around me, not just a personal loss. I know I’m allowed this time to grieve, to feel deeply, or—on some days—to feel nothing at all.
Family dynamics add another layer to this experience. I have MAGA-supporting relatives whom I’ve distanced myself from for years, and this election has solidified that boundary. It’s a reminder that some divides won’t heal, and I am at peace with that decision.
In recent days, I’ve come to understand where my friendships stand, and I’ve found strength in both women and men. It’s easy to search for someone to blame, but that only leads to hasty conclusions. I think back to the wisdom my father shared with me: “The less you say, the less you have to explain.” Many could benefit from keeping this in mind as we move forward. Words spoken in frustration can come back to haunt us, even if they were well-intentioned.
In the coming months, leading up to the inauguration, tensions are sure to run high. People on both sides will be triggered, and there will be provocations that test all of us. It’s essential to breathe, to save our energy, and to remain grounded. There’s a real struggle ahead to protect rights and institutions that serve everyone, and we need to prepare ourselves—not by jumping into battles prematurely, but by being thoughtful about when and how we act.
Right now, my priority is to give myself the time and space to breathe and reflect. We live in an “act first, ask questions later” society, and I’m choosing not to participate in that mindset at the moment. When I was younger, I looked at the world with boundless optimism, eager to change everything. I managed to make a few changes, but with age has come wisdom. I’ve learned to read the room, to step back before speaking or typing, and, in some cases, to simply unfriend or block rather than engage. At this point, it’s not worth my energy. What is worth my energy—days after an election that feels like it will hurt so many lives—is to breathe, brainstorm some ideas, and breathe again.
Working in a field where hostile environments are already taking shape, I see leaders around me saying, “We don’t want to be political.” But here’s the reality: it’s political now. I’ll eventually take up the fight, but only when I’m ready. I know the importance of having a plan, one with contingencies for unexpected turns (which are inevitable).
I don’t want to be loud right now; I’m finding ways to be impactful from the shadows. I’m making small changes, one at a time. I check the businesses I support, adjusting where I shop and the brands I buy from. I’ve decided to avoid places like Hobby Lobby, Walmart, and Chick-fil-A, even though people tell me I’m hurting the workers. I don’t buy that argument. I’m one person making a choice, not out to harm anyone. This reminds me of tactics that try to divert blame by downplaying harm. I know I can make conscious choices that align with my values without feeling guilty.
For instance, I’ll change where I shop, aware of the political stance of the organizations. It won’t be drastic, but it will be deliberate—a domino effect of small shifts. I haven’t canceled my Amazon Prime yet, but I plan to at the beginning of the year. I may also leave Twitter in the coming weeks. I don’t want to make all these changes at once. I need a plan, but I also need self-care, which I’m finding gradually in the quiet moments.
Remember, we can’t make a difference—whether from the shadows or from the top of the mountain—if we don’t take care of ourselves. Find your quiet space, surround yourself with people who recharge you, and give yourself the grace to rest.
Recommendation of the Week: Read A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf. It’s a hauntingly real reflection from a voice of the past that resonates with women today.
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